There are times that I think back to 2 years ago and miss that life and the person I felt I was. I am a mom now. I have a career that is demanding more of my time than ever before. I am STILL going after my masters. I am trying to balance all of this and be a good wife and friend to my incredible husband. A month ago, the moment came where I felt like I just had to get away. To remember what it felt like to be on a vacation. The moment where I forget all the responsibility and just enjoy the moment I am in. Can I do that anymore?

Even though Hawaii was fantastic earlier this year, I never experienced a carefree moment. It might have been the touch of baby blues or the knowledge that my “real” life was still on the other side of the ocean, waiting for me. I am wondering how to relax within a family vacation. Is it possible to feel the sense of freedom and happiness that we used to know in our little get aways? Perhaps it is because I feel a hyper sensitivity to the world around me when M is around. I feel like we are that family, with the loud child, food thrown around the table and the mom looking disheveled, but should I care? For now, we will be the one with the smiling little girl that captures the attention of everyone that passes her. We will be the one that is picking up food off the floor and pushing the table out of reach of grabby hands. We will be the ones that eat quickly and try to enjoy a full cup of coffee. I think the key is that I have to find the joy in the moments of chaos. Travel is an adventure and so is parenthood.